The Air Is Thin, Wish You Were Here

There is big news in my world today, and I’m not talking about what you think I’m talking about. I’m not talking about Heather Locklear’s DUI arrest.

My friends, it might rain today.

In the 106 days I’ve been in Los Angeles, I have seen not a raindrop. No precipitation has fallen from the sky.

One time, I was up in the middle of the night and heard water hit a leaf outside. I rushed to the balcony, threw open the sliding door… and saw the sprinklers coming on.

The sputtering of “ppsssst… pssssst… pssssst” was the sound of the desert, pointing at me and laughing.

I’d heard it was sunny in LA. Big deal. It’s sunny in Florida, too. Really sunny. So sunny that sometimes you wish for a cloudy day so you can have an excuse to experience a mood.

At the same time, those cloudy days are like holidays in Florida. It feels like a snow day, like you should stay at home and pop popcorn and put mittens on.

So, I was prepared for sunny. But, I mean, COME ON. No rain for months on end? That’s weird. (Supposedly, it’s a Mediterranean climate. Hot, dry summers and cool, wet winters.)

I won’t even go into the “microclimate” issue – how it’s sometimes 15 degrees or more hotter in the Valley, where I live, than in the rest of LA.

It’s the ultimate socioeconomic-climatologic insult. Like God himself is making a point of suffocating us for not being able to afford Santa Monica or Beverly Hills.

Hey, I may not be omniscient -- but I know when weather is being used to punish me.

According to averages recorded by The Weather Channel’s Web site, my best hope for seeing rain won’t come until November. That’s when my neighborhood gets about an inch.

So, you can see why I’m trembling with anticipation. And I’m not the only one who’s excited. The LA Times is filing copy, reporting that there is big news.

Not that someone else is suing Ed McMahon.

But that someone saw some thunderstorms.

IMAGE LINK [LA Times]

Comments

[Heidi]

I always thought Florida Goths were fucking hilarious. I mean, who can be a Goth where the sun shines brightly at least 360 days a year?

It was so "Goth Talk" from Saturday Night Live, which actually was set in Tampa with "Azrael Abyss" and "Circe Nightshade."

[Megan Parker]

Want to borrow some rain clouds? We've got a few you can use over here in London, where we haven't had a summer for the past 2 years!!

[Henry]

You know, people go crazy when it rains out there. Really, I've see it once. Earthquakes, fires, riots don't phase them. Water falling from the sky - all hell breaks loose.

[Kimberly Wilson]

If it's rain you want, head up to Portland in about three weeks. Here you'll find grey skies and conditions that shift from drizzly to drippy to pouring for most of the next six months.

[mcd]

Just wait til you see Angelenos drive when it rains!

(btw, your desk sits empty -- and not the only one -- very disturbing)

[Jeff W.]

I swear to God you're stealing all my story ideas. It has only rained about 20 times in the 8 years I've been in Colorado. It's so strange when you come from NC you actually miss having some dismal days. I have rainy days in my soul and it's weird when it never actually rains. I guess the snow is my substitute here.

Your story about the Greek theater reminded me I was going to post some pics of Red Rocks.

[Eric]

Okay, I have to know: Did it rain?

I'm picturing you laughing as you run through the rain, yelling with a Carolina accent something like "Lordy, Lordy!"

[Parker]

No. 108 days now...

So. Thirsty.