The Forecast Calls for Booty

Last month, my out-of-state travels reminded me – as they always do – of all that is strange about LA.

Re-entry into Los Angeles is a culture shock every time I come back. I am finally getting used to paparazzi at the airport, the graffiti all over the freeway – and the sunshine that greets me, no matter what.

There are, of course, things about LA that I will never be used to.

While catching local news at home in North Carolina and on the road in Florida and Tennessee, I found myself mesmerized by the TV news personalities.

Something, I noticed, wasn’t right. The hair – different. The makeup – different. And why… why are they wearing so many clothes? Is Amish in?

Where’s the cleave? The miniskirt and stripper heels? The sweaters that are so tight you think the sports guy may have to give mouth-to-mouth?

The overdone lipstick that is absolutely porn-tastic, even at 5 in the morning?

It wasn't what I had become used to.

I present to you: my local meteorologists. The LA TV weather hookers.

 

 

They are incredible. I was shocked when I first saw the local news here – I thought “Witches of Breastwick” was on at the wrong time. Or that I had accidentally ordered pay-per-view.

 

And when I brought this up to native Angelenos, they had no idea what I was talking about. They thought every TV “meteorologist” dresses like Lil' Kim.

 

Not to say that sex doesn’t sell news on TV stations elsewhere – obviously, it does. But the sex appeal of the weather I’m used to is... well, more subtle. Less Mons Venus.

Leave it to LA to let it all hang out. Rain or shine.

 

Thanks to my old friend Andréa for, as always, nailing it. She spotted the first news "hooker" back in Baltimore. Chained to our desks at 5 a.m., forced to type, we couldn't turn away from the TV traffic hooker who looked like she'd never gone to bed at all. I have to say, though, compared to these women -- even that chick was downright wholesome.

 

Technorati Tags: Weather Girl,Jillian Barberie,Elita Loresca,Jackie Johnson,KCAL,KTTV,KNBC

Comments

[Jeff]

Quite an indictment coming from a newspaper mermaid.

[Parker]

I don't know what you're talking about. And anyway, that was journalism -- and I at least had sense enough to cover up my tail!

[Keith Jenkins]

Brilliant Ms. Parker!