I know everyone complains about jury duty, and believe me – I was whining as much as anyone when I got called in this week.
But I should have known jury service in Los Angeles wouldn’t be just a regular old civic duty. It was another surreal peek at how truly weird this town can be.
There were hundreds of us gathered this morning in the jury pool room in the criminal courthouse downtown (where people like Chris Brown appeared the very same day for hearings). The clerk who was running the show gave us a few directions and then said someone had stopped by who wanted to say hello.
Judge Lance Ito, looking not a day older than he did in 1995, stepped to the podium.
I’m telling you, I couldn’t make this up. He delivered a little speech.
He gave us a bio on the namesake of the courthouse -- Clara Shortridge Foltz, the first woman admitted to the California Bar. He opined on the LA Times and how much he misses its heyday and how he learned to read by sitting on his dad’s knee and perusing the Times comics with him. He told us about his father, a 95-year-old World War II veteran who was forced to give up his car keys two years ago but won’t give up his car.
He talked about how important jurors are and how great the jury setup is. He gave us a rundown of Los Angeles County courts – 50 courthouses, 7,000 jury trials a year. He talked about how wonderful the system is and how it runs like a finely oiled machine.
Are you getting this?
He told us we may have to stay awhile. The trial we get assigned to could take up to a week, he says. Maybe longer. Maybe six weeks, like the fraud trial he’s getting ready to preside over. (“But don’t worry – ha ha – you’re not in the pool for that trial!”)
Ha. Ha.
One trial he knows of, he says, even lasted nine months.
“I didn’t think that one was ever going to end!” he joked.
Now, I wouldn’t pull your leg. At this point, I was taking notes. I think I may have said out loud, “The folks back home aren’t going to BELIEVE this one.”
Then he thanked us for the chance to speak to us. It’s the only time, he said, he’ll ever get to talk to a standing room-only crowd.
He left, and everyone clapped.
Soon after, I was offered the chance to postpone my jury service. I gratefully took them up on it.
But I can’t wait to go back.
